• Tahlia Asinate

Lies To Stop Telling In Your 20s



Your twenties are a peculiar time where you’re no longer a teenager but not quite an adult. Yet, you’re expected to be mature, pay your bills and know what career you want to pursue.


Now, perhaps this isn’t the case for you, but my early twenties was a strange time. It was a metamorphosis of sorts where I was figuring out who I was, alongside my life purpose. However, I soon realised that thinking we need to know our life trajectory was one of the multiple lies we tell that make this decade harder than it has to be.


Aside from this, these lies do little to build our self-esteem or help us make better decisions. Meaning, we must identify these falsities and tell the truth to maximise our twenties to their full potential. So, what are these lies? Let’s take a look …


  1. My parents know best — Until now, your parents have guided you through life while making your most important decisions. And while they want what is best for you, sometimes they don’t know what is. The fact is, your parents only know you as their children. However, you’re an adult now, and it’s time to become self-sufficient. This does not mean you should disregard your parents advice. Instead, acknowledge it’s time to make your own decisions, where you consider their advice but don’t hold it as the holy grail of decision making. Making your own decisions will require a perspective shift — you will have to do your own research and think through the consequences of your choices. However, this is necessary to become a functioning adult. And while you will make mistakes, learning from these experiences will help you evolve and become your own person.

  2. They’re doing better than me — Comparing yourself to others is one of the quickest ways to become disappointed, making it crucial to avoid doing it. In reality, you don’t know what’s happening in others lives, and comparing yourself to them does nothing to help you. Instead of focusing on others, channel your energy into being the best version of yourself. Identify what you truly want, and set about achieving it. If you must compare yourself to anyone, let it be who you were previously and use your self-reflection as inspiration to keep evolving. Most importantly, don’t compare yourself to a highlight reel. Social media isn’t a true reflection of peoples reality.

  3. I need to have life figured out — Thinking we need to know our life purpose is one of the biggest lies we believe in our twenties. Because, while many think you should know your life trajectory by twenty-one, the fact is, few do. In reality, this decade is for figuring out who you are and what you enjoy doing. Meaning, don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t know what career you want, whether you want children or the variety of other decisions others push on you. Instead, use this decade to experiment and find out who you are and what you desire. Do everything you find interesting, whether it’s starting a business, travelling or working in different industries. You may be pleasantly surprised by how your experiments set you up for years to come. However, when you realise what works for you, go all in and give it your best to set yourself up for the future.

While your twenties can be a perplexing time, it is also one of the most exciting periods of your life. You’re finally an adult, yet you’re still young enough to take risks and experiment with few lasting consequences.


Instead of letting futile lies stand in the way of your development, see your twenties for the remarkable decade that it is. Acknowledge that you can now make your own decisions, figure out who you are, and begin taking steps to build your future.